Minding my own business

Sometimes my seamless concern for others disgusts me.

I think it’s a girl phenomenon. Else it’s just completely my problem.

Unavailing, otious concern. I’m talking about pointlessly analysing somebody else’s life. Sometimes it could also be that silly curiosity that plants itself in my idle brain.

There’s a reason why they say an idle mind is a devil’s worshop. In this case the devil assumes the form of senseless scrutiny.

Why is she dating that dumb dude?
What did he see in her?
Wait, what did she see in him?

What will happen if he gets into that college known for its snotty crowd?

If I ignore her calls just once, will she get mad at me?

Why is he messing with his life?
He shouldn’t smoke.
She shouldn’t smoke.


Why couldn’t she opt for the career of her choice?
Why can’t she make her own decisions?

Why, why did she fall into bad company? I didn’t expect that.

Why can’t he cut his shaggy mane?
Why did he go bald for chrissake?!

And, amongst all these unnecessary questions and thoughts dedicated to others, I forget one important person.

Me.

Everyone talks about this thing called Ego. Self-importance and adulation. Oh, I was so proud of it. It comforted me when I was hurt. But, I couldn’t comfort it when it got hurt.Well, this is completely off the context but it’s a wonder that I forget all about it, worrying about others. I should put it first. Worrying about myself and my problems to an extent is healthier than to worry about the choices others make, and the trouble they invite upon themselves.

It’s good to care but as I ponder, I conclude that I excessively indulge in thoughts about everything possible which is not in my control. For heaven’s sake, my friends do have some rationality to their credit.

It’s THEIR life. As Bon Jovi would say.

Almost half my brain is occupied with thoughts about others. Are they really worth all that space in my head? I don’t know. I guess not.

Indecisive for myself but decisive for others.That’s what it has come to. Control freakism-ish I suppose.

Would my best friend reserve that much of her brain space for me? I don’t think my boyfriend ever did that either.

Minding my own business is something I need to grasp.
 

Advertisements

8 comments

  1. Geeta Krishna · May 17, 2012

    Yet another good post, Anju!

    Like

  2. michelle · May 17, 2012

    I also wonder about some of these things, but mine is linked to – CHOICES!
    Why do people make such and such a choice?
    What goes through his/her mind when he/she made that choice…
    And the flip side of the coin – some people just sail along in life and let things come and go, WITHOUT making a conscious decision about it! Frightening!

    Like

  3. Anjali Krishna · May 18, 2012

    You nailed it! I can't help wondering either! :-/

    Like

  4. MynameisEarl · May 24, 2012

    Take my word for it, it takes a while to start 'minding your own business'.

    Like

  5. jnana · May 26, 2012

    Can so totally relate to this!

    Like

  6. Anjali Krishna · May 27, 2012

    It's taking forever! :/

    Like

  7. Anjali Krishna · May 27, 2012

    Thank you! 🙂

    Like

  8. Anjali Krishna · May 27, 2012

    I'm glad you could! 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s