Smile

It is as quiet and as empty as I wanted it to be.

No more questions,
No more impatience,
No more frowning,
Or incoherence,
At last.

“Now then, get up, you are alright,” I said,

When you refused to budge.
Crease lines etched across your forehead, deepening,
No smile, no twinkle,
Drooping cheeks and anxious eyes,
Yet, I tried.

“It’s your favourite movie!”,

“Look at his face, crinkled up comically!”,
 Smile!
 But you didn’t.

“Look at these pictures,”

“That’s me in your arms, gurgling with laughter.”
And then I could see,
A hint of a smile, maybe.

Worry shouldn’t be your best friend,
Medicines won’t cheer you up.
Look at me, and look at her, and him,
And all your favourite things,
That make you gladsome,
That make you smile.
Anger couldn’t hide itself.
This was all wrong.
Spill your secrets,
The darkest ones,
Why couldn’t you?
All I wanted was you to be alright.
I stamped upon the gloom,
That caught up with the days,            
Flying past swiftly,
Drowning myself in a world of make believe,
With all things happy and wonderful,
Catchy riffs, puppy love, and words.
Laugh, laugh, laugh!
Pretty smile that lights up your eyes.
Ask, ask, ask!
Those questions, silly and stupid
Else this isn’t you.

But, they grew dimmer, your eyes.
Feeble tones to your voice,
Breathing harder to survive.
Still, I forced myself,
To make you smile.
I could stamp no more after a point.
I asked Him hence,
To ease you,
To make you smile.
A miracle maybe,
“Heal her!”I pleaded.
“Only one way,” He said.

Bittersweet it tasted,

Plunged sharp into the folds of my skin,
He called it Pain.

You didn’t say bye,
But you did.
They said you didn’t smile,
But you did.
I know,
I can see it in my mind’s eye,
That beautiful smile that lights up your eyes.

My stint at poetry writing, that I dedicate to Paati, my wonderful grandmother.

R.I.P

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7 comments

  1. jnana · August 5, 2012

    It's beautiful 😦

    Like

  2. michelle · August 5, 2012

    The poem captures a variety of emotions and moods… really poignant and well crafted.
    I hope you are well, Anjali. Just popping in to say hello.

    Like

  3. Geeta Krishna · August 5, 2012

    It's never easy losing both grandparents so soon within 4 months. They will always love you.

    Like

  4. Geeta Krishna · August 5, 2012

    It's never easy losing both grandparents so soon within 4 months. They will always love you.

    Like

  5. Anjali Krishna · August 7, 2012

    🙂

    Like

  6. Anjali Krishna · August 7, 2012

    I am alright Michelle. Hope you are doing fine too! 🙂

    Like

  7. Anjali Krishna · August 7, 2012

    Thank you so much 🙂

    Like

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