How long has it been? A month? Or more maybe? I have been blatantly ignoring my blog, and writing to be precise. I have reasons to validate that but let’s not get into that. “I have been busy,” could suffice for now.
(Or maybe the lack of solid inspiration, who knows.)
I woke up half an hour ago, with the sole intention of writing something in my favourite blank box again. I have forgotten how much it has helped me get through stuff, happy and sad.
Have you ever felt like a mistake? I am not talking about having committed one. I’m talking about having felt like one. Your career, your college, your hobby, a decision – these tend to qualify as mistakes at times. But, the fact that you as an individual could be a mistake in someone’s life, is something that doesn’t pop in your mind very often. And when it does, it makes you contemplate, and just worry.
“I should not have been her friend,” or “He shouldn’t have gotten close to me,” – as though you are the root cause of every problem, as though you are the one causing all the inconvenience.
The tiny voice in your head shouts “Be rational!” but all the rationality it tries to enforce upon you can be pretty useless, once your emotional side has taken control. You try to seek comfort in some sort of an assurance in your friend and that tiny voice as well , but it seems shallow as a puddle. And yet there are times when there is no one to guarantee you anything.
And when it comes to someone like me, who is as sensitive as a thermometer, this thought is food for further absurd analysis.
Something like –
If that person had his/her life’s data stored in a computer, that needed periodic cleaning up, I would probably end up in the recycle bin, sooner or later.
Or maybe I was destined to be an Error 404, after all.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new,” said one great guy.
I’m starting to wonder that I was some good after all.