I know it has been ages since I blogged. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason for my abstinence from writing. Maybe it has been stress. The stress of harboring of new insecurities that have been lately popping into my mind. Or maybe, the stress of dealing with nasty surprises. Or maybe the very idea of dragging myself daily to a college that greets me with its revolting mediocrity. I don’t know. But, I haven’t been able to bring myself to write.
I’m staring at this blank box, waiting for my fingers to take charge of the keyboard, like they usually would. Instead, I get frustrated with myself for not being able to produce some sort of substantial content that could suffice as a blog post. Damn it.
An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Time being paralyzed, my mind has lately been occupied with thoughts of triviality. Even something as simple as reading a book seems to have become a bloody task. It’s a phase of staring-at-words-till-they-lose-their-meaning, of worrying about others, of analyzing the purpose of studying Biotech, and of trying to convince myself that someday I’ll be competent enough to look after myself (big, big thoughts of a lanky girl on the brink of bidding farewell to teenage).
Hence, I have been comforting myself with a camera, a microphone, and this guitar. I have been advised to practice Yoga every morning, to calm my nerves that seem to saltate at the slightest stimulus these days (and the problem isn’t PMS).
It’s not like I haven’t reached some kind of a solution. Breathing does soothe you. Shut your eyes, inhale slowly and deeply and vice verse. It’s not that your brain is going to pause and linger in tranquility (if you read that somewhere, then that’s bull). But, the thoughts loosen up, and they float instead of ravaging in your head. You could let your worst fears play and replay as often as you wish and feel the fear element fading away gradually, until it dissipates into nothingness.
And you feel stronger. And calmer.
They tell you to listen to music, or paint. Or go stroll in a park. Or sleep it off. Or watch a stupid movie. Or read something inspirational. Or talk to someone. You could take your pick.
But, who thought that listening to oneself breathe is the best option of them all? I used to shrug it off. Never believed that paying attention to your lungs would be an excellent way to kick-start the whole relaxing process. One hears a lot of talk about surviving each day by learning from one’s errors or by being thick skinned. Yet, in spite of keeping all that philosophical dissertation in mind one tends to overlook the fact that the very crux of survival lies in each breathe.
I suppose you get my point. I think I have had my quota of cliched mumbo jumbo. 😛
I need to take some time out to breathe. Breathing is easy peasy, simple pimple.
And.. I guess this is my post for the day.